2010
This is a documentary that follows the lives of four babies from different places: one is from tribal Namibia, another from rural Mongolia, and two city babies from Tokyo and San Francisco. The movie is just as much about motherhood and parenting styles as it is about these individual babies. There is little dialogue--it is mostly just montages of these different babies. It may sound boring, but I tell you, it is such a delightful hour and a half. Watch it with friends and pick your favorite babies. Rank the babies. LOVE the babies.
Disclaimer: If you hate babies, you probably will hate this movie.
A
Monday, January 17, 2011
Toy Story 3
2010
This may have been my favorite movie this year. We'll see. I saw it twice and cried both times. There's something about have grown up with Andy and becoming attached to his toys as a child that make the sentimental parts of this movie REALLY sentimental. It actually gets really intense, and no matter how old you are, you will be on the edge of your seat--unless you're a robot, in which case, fuck you, robots.
I'm so sad the trilogy is over. These movies are so sweet and smart and well-crafted. I want more, but can't think of a sweeter end. I feel closure.
A+
This may have been my favorite movie this year. We'll see. I saw it twice and cried both times. There's something about have grown up with Andy and becoming attached to his toys as a child that make the sentimental parts of this movie REALLY sentimental. It actually gets really intense, and no matter how old you are, you will be on the edge of your seat--unless you're a robot, in which case, fuck you, robots.
I'm so sad the trilogy is over. These movies are so sweet and smart and well-crafted. I want more, but can't think of a sweeter end. I feel closure.
A+
Charlie St. Cloud
2010
Starring: ZAC EFRON OMGGGGG and Kim Basinger
This movie should be called, Charlie St. Cloud: Ghostfucker or How I Killed My Brother. Basically, Zac Efron gets into a car crash with his little brother, his brother dies, and then he can see dead people. He visits his brother every day in the forest and plays catch with him, but then falls in love with a girl and has to say goodbye to his dead ghost brother? There's a...twist? Zac Efron cries a lot and takes his shirt off, so the movie was worth watching to me. But, if you're not into that sort of thing, don't waste your money on this schmaltzfest.
D
Starring: ZAC EFRON OMGGGGG and Kim Basinger
This movie should be called, Charlie St. Cloud: Ghostfucker or How I Killed My Brother. Basically, Zac Efron gets into a car crash with his little brother, his brother dies, and then he can see dead people. He visits his brother every day in the forest and plays catch with him, but then falls in love with a girl and has to say goodbye to his dead ghost brother? There's a...twist? Zac Efron cries a lot and takes his shirt off, so the movie was worth watching to me. But, if you're not into that sort of thing, don't waste your money on this schmaltzfest.
D
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Storytelling
2001
Directed and written by: Todd SolondzStarring: Selma Blair, Paul Giamatti, lots of other talented people we haven't heard of
I saw Solondz's "Happiness" maybe 4 years ago, and it became one of my favorite movies. It's so wrong it's right. So outlandish it's true. So dark it's funny. The character development in his films are fantastic (take that, Inception), and every time you laugh, you feel bad about yourself. Maybe you feel better about yourself because these characters are so fucked up, thus making you not that fucked up. Maybe we're laughing out of superiority. Maybe you don't think this shit is funny--just sick. Maybe you watch with horror while people like me are laughing. I mean, what else can you do when a little boy forces his underpaid, overworked Mexican nanny to clean up a juice spill moments after she receives news of her grandson's death? Or in the case of "Happiness", how do you deal with the conversation between a child molestor and his son, right after he has raped one of his son's friends? I mean, what else can you do but laugh?
Solondz blows my mind. Solid screenplays, brilliant performances, and just the right balance of comedy and stark, profound, social commentary.
A
Eclipse
2010
Directed by: David Slade
Written by: Melissa Rosenberg and Mormon Idiot
Starring: Werewolves, vampires, and Kristin Stewart
Oh, you know...it's a Twilight movie. It's boring. They're pretty. Eyerolls galore. I wish these movies would really GO for it, you know? Maybe it's because the story isn't interesting enough to carry a super campy style, but I think they could do it. I want more pizzazz! Even WORSE acting! Swelling scores (no more Muse, please?)! Sex (fucking Mormons)! I want to see vampire limbs get ripped off, not shatter into lame sparkly little pieces! I want to see werewolves transform back into naked teenage boys! I want to see Kristin Stewart play with her hair and I want to hear R-Patz accidentally slip into his British accent. I want the vamps to still wear purple lipstick and have contact lens lines. Where are the sassy one-liners?
It's kind of like Hairspray. Or Glee. Both things I SHOULD be really into, given my susceptibility to gay shit that 12 year old girls like (BIEBER FEVER!). Both things that bore the hell out of me. They like energy. Self-reflexivity. All these teeny-bopper markets should take a cue from the High School Musical Trilogy--don't take yourself too seriously, and cheese it up! We love that! It's not like you're trying to win any Oscars. Right!?
C
Drag Me To Hell
2009
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman and Justin Long
Written by: Sam and Ivan Raimi
I rarely enjoy movies as much as I enjoyed this one. I was in the mood for a ridiculous horror film, and ridiculous horror is what I got. This gem is full of gross-out gore and cliche gypsy superstition. There's a scary old lady with gross fingernails, some yellow mucus disease, and a propensity to curse bitchy loan officers. There's a bitchy loan officer who we are maybe supposed to like, but probably not (I was definitely hoping she would get what she deserved). Her boyfriend (Long) provides supposed comic relief, if this was a horror film and not a comedy in itself.
Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a talking, possessed, evil goat who calls the protag a "Whoooooore", a puppet-master Jafar dance, projective nose/mouth blood vomit at work, and a staple gun to the gypsy's fucked up eye. What's not to love? If you're looking to be grossed out, scared, jumpy, and laugh until you cry, this is the movie for you.
Take that, Shaun of the Fucking Dead.
A
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